I want to further progress towards our mutual and my personal goals. I am having a hard time doing this. I only get about two hours of sleep a day; I work full time and am currently entrapped into the University of California cult by financial aid. I have always experienced an excess of stress due to my inherited anxiety disorders and permanent psychopharmecutical damages I have endured, but now my stress is reaching a pivotal point where I can't find the time to keep my body or mind healthy, let alone my self-actualization efforts. I am experiencing extremely negative thoughts constantly and I'm considering suicide. Sorry if this isn't the place to write about this, I'm just not able to get help from anyone I think.
Edward K There is so much love within you and around you as hard as it might be to feel and see at the moment. I recommend exit thematic.com read thru it, following some of their ideas can help with the negativity. Try to be positive when you can. Hang in there you'll soon see the light. There are so many that care for you.
[deleted user] If there's nobody around you to help, you need to make your own decision, Maxwell. Think for yourself. I suggest stop doing what's keeping you in a stressful condition and sleepless.
See your employer or psychologist, announce a sabbatical, due to being overworked, or whatever you choose to call it. Show your condition and use your discernment both.
Take a good rest, without thinking about solutions. Those come later, your condition is probably a jumble of thoughts and feelings.
Just take care of yourself and nothing else. Revover and bring your mind to rest with sleep and let go of all voices that tell you to live up to their standards.
Find your own voice, listen to what it has to tell you and begin to think for yourself, coming from love and care for yourself, so that you can recover.
Afterwards reach out to the world around you and see what you want with it. Or see what you want in it, and how you can feel inspired by it, in order to fulfill your purpose, accompanied with joy and peace of mind. Find a trustworthy friend within you, be honest with yourself coming from love